Dalrock has a piece entitled “Never let a crisis go to waste.” He fills us in on what occurred on a recent Focus on the Family radio broadcast when the president of FOTF, Jim Daly, spoke with Christian relationship “expert” Dr. David Clarke. For those who read and study the Bible, it is evident that Dr. Clark’s view on marriage is decidedly unbiblical, which is troubling to say the least. For one thing, the so-called relationship expert would have us believe that wives are supposed to be in charge, not the husband, because, when it comes to marriage, men are clueless. According to Dalrock: “Dr. Clarke reiterates that while divorce is technically a sin, women can’t be expected to honor their vows if their husbands don’t “communicate” the way wives demand…”
The most troubling thing of all is that Dr. Clarke’s unbiblical view of marriage was heard by a large number of listeners, mostly women, who regularly tune into FOTF to learn from so-called experts ways in which to deal with pressing family issues.
Now listen to Dalrock dissect the discussion…
In my last post I described the surprising wisdom included in a New York Times piece on marriage:
“The way to stay married,” my mother says, “is not to get divorced.”
This is in line with both the Bible and science, but is contrary to modern Christian thought. In the modern Christian view unhappy wives are an opportunity to invert biblical headship via the wakeup call.
Focus on the Family offers a striking example of this new and unbiblical view of marriage in their radio program Moving From Loneliness to Intimacy in Your Marriage*. The program is an interview with Christian relationship expert Dr. David Clarke by Focus on the Family president Jim Daly.
The show opens with three clips of women with petty grievances about their marriages. Dr. Clarke sums the complaints up:
Well, these little stories we heard just a few minutes ago from these ladies, I have heard a million times at my seminars, in my therapy office, oh, just one after the other, good solid Christian women. I am so lonely. I love my husband. He’s a good guy. He’s not in a serious sin and … and he loves me,but … and then they go into what these ladies just said. We’re not together a lot. There’s no real intimacy. I’m dying inside. And the key is, they’re not letting the husband know that. The guy has no clue. He’s perfectly happy. So, when that woman hits the wall and leaves him, he is the most stunned guy on earth.
Clarke’s focus is “catching” these women before they are compelled to divorce, by teaching them how to threaten their husbands into better communication. He explains that the solution is for the wives to take charge, and for the husbands to let them take charge, which he claims is God’s plan:
This is what God has done to us (Laughing). Now He’s got a master plan, because if we work together and let the woman actually teach us, ’cause she has many more skills interpersonally that we will … ever will have. She’s got a Ph.D. in emotional intimacy and spiritual intimacy very often. We have like a third-grade education. So, we have to let the woman kind of guide us, teach us. And then we come together, we get it.
The premise here is that women are better at marriage because they are unhappy being married. Since men tend to be for the most part content in honoring their vows, and women tend to be unhappy doing so, this is proof that women are better at marriage than men. It isn’t just headship that Dr. Clarke is turning upside down; virtue has become vice, and vice has become virtue. Being discontent is a virtue according to Clarke, and being content is a sign of foolishness and inferiority. Also note that Daly is right on board with this, and Daly is the president of Focus of the Family. Continue reading
The Church Does Not Need Christian Radio–By Timothy Hammons