Note: I began publishing my “Leaving the NAR Church” series in 2017, and even to this day I receive new entries to publish. There are nearly 75 stories so far. These stories are precious to me, and serve as a painful reminder that there is hope for the dear deceived ones caught up in this insidious movement. If you don’t know what NAR is, I hope you’ll take a moment and read What is the New Apostolic Reformation Movement.
The following is a letter from a woman I will call Maddy, about her personal experience an NAR organization partnering with some of the biggest false teachers of the day. What she experienced will make readers angry. But please pray for those still trapped in this movement. Also, read our research into “Deliverance Ministries” here.
Thankfully, God opened Maddy’s eyes to the truth. Here is her story:
I recently left a small church that was laced with WOF, NAR, and Prosperity Gospel teaching. The pastor was a woman, and everyone called her “mom” or Apostle. She was our “spiritual covering.” There were a lot of prophetic words, praying in tongues, deliverance ministry, generational curses, word curses, prophetic seed offering, etc. We also had all night prayer, declaring and decreeing, corporate fasting, and dominion theology.
I was there for 13 years and genuinely believed I was where I was supposed to be. But in the last 2 years or so God has started slowly removing the blinders from my eyes. One of the “bishops” (also a female pastor) gave me some Joyce Meyer’s books which I felt compelled to give back to her after learning that she believes we are “little gods” and subscribes to WOF and prosperity gospel teachings. I tried to tell this “bishop” that these teachings were not only unbiblical and blasphemous, but also rooted in witchcraft. She yelled at me on the phone demanding to know where I got my information about the WOF movement and prosperity gospel.
They always taught us not to “eat at anyone else’s tables” which I now realize was because I was being brainwashed and they didn’t want me to seek truth. The pastor was very controlling, calling me in the middle of the night to question my whereabouts and claiming that God showed her things so she was worried about me. At the time, I was backslidden and doing what I wanted so I actually thought she had some impressive discernment or maybe it was just a “mother’s” instinct.
Somehow, so many of the extra biblical prophetic words were accurate and on time which is why I thought I was in the right place. My children kept me there because my childcare provider became my daughter’s family and they go to the church. The whole congregation was my family for 13 years. Or so I thought. There was so much love bombing that kept me stuck.
The “Apostle” would always caution us not to talk about her saying “touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm.” Also, they sold hand-made anointing oil across the pulpit. We were instructed to lay hands on and anoint things in our homes, door frames, our feet, the top of our heads and all portals of access (eyes, ears, mouth, and nose) calling them gates. We were told to find objects that represented people that weren’t around and pray over the object. For example, my son lives with his dad who is a Muslim. I was told to anoint some of his clothes and lay on them and decree protection over my son.
I was battling so much oppression and addictions that I was shamed for publicly, I believe due to the deliverance ministry. They would lay hands on me and prophesy and rebuke me for the things I was struggling with. I have only been free from the oppression and bondage since I left the church. I sleep better at night, I don’t crave the things I used to to help me cope with the spiritual abuse. I feel so liberated.
I’m still struggling with emotional turmoil. I spoke to one of the members recently about the “little gods” doctrine which she confirmed that she believes. My stomach turned with that conversation and I tried to point out that the Scripture she referred to was taken out of context. Nobody that is still under the pastor’s influence is convinced of my claims. I’m just a peasant in a hierarchical system of leadership. Why would they listen to me?
I know I made the right decision to leave but I’m battling guilt because they did a lot for me which I suppose was part of the love bombing. I gave so much money to the “ministry” believing that God was going to bless me and that He wanted me to be wealthy and healthy. After listening to Paul Washer, Voddie Baucham, and John MacArthur, I heard the Gospel as if for the first time and it blew me away. The Gospel is not about us! It’s about Him!
in the aftermath of my departure, I am experiencing somewhat of a spiritual numbness. I know God is there and I’m reading the Word and doing what I’m supposed to do but there is a loneliness that I haven’t dealt with because even the pastor who everyone called Mom or Apostle was a mother to me. If I give myself time to think about it, I believe I would grieve but I have just been numb to this point.
I’ve been out for about 2.5 months now and a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I have so much peace these days. God has been taking such good care of me. However I am paranoid of going to a new church that I will be manipulated again. I’m not sure if I feel safe venturing out to a new church yet but I’ve been reading my Bible and strengthening my relationship with God so I can have enough Word in me to recognize heresy next time.
I haven’t sung any of the worship songs after discovering how “me” centered the worship is. I’m just trying to find my way into a genuine relationship with God. I’ve been craving truth for such a long time. I thank God for His mercy to rescue me from such a movement that would have taken me to Hell. I also haven’t been praying as much, for fear that I am doing it wrong. A big part of praying in that church was “praying in tongues ” and declaring and decreeing what you want to see in your life. How do I know my prayers honor God now? I talk to Him and ask Him to help me but it’s difficult because I got so used to the emotional highs and lows that I don’t have anymore. Those spiritual experiences were like a drug and the euphoria gave me such a rush. Now I’m just numb. But I know the Father loves me and is caring well for me right now so I am content with that. Its just a difficult journey back to myself and a genuine walk with God that honors Him.
You can read the entire series of NAR testimonies here.
Have a testimony you’d like to share? Contact me privately here:
